My fiancée and I have been together for several years and we recently started to plan our wedding. Since it has been some time since I had been involved in a wedding I thought it would be a good idea to go to a bridal/wedding show to get up to speed on what all is out there.
First of all, I love that weddings are now a reflection of the couple getting married rather than every wedding being a slight variation of every other wedding. There are so many fantastic options out there to do ( gotta say I love that you can rent an axe throwing cage for a bachelor/ette party, but I’m a little crazy like that) and the options for honeymoons, venues, catering, DJs etc. It can make your head spin with all the options.
Then I walked past the booths telling me that I need to wax this, freeze that, in order to be beautiful for my wedding day. In fact, I actually had one representative, grab my arm and say “Oh good, I’m glad you walked by, you DEFNITELY need to freeze ALL your fat off, so you can be beautiful for your wedding”. I was so offended by her approach and her assumption that there was something wrong with how I looked. I tried to politely turn down her offer and get away from her booth, but she continued to tell me everything that she perceived to be wrong with how I looked. The situation got to a point that I found myself needing to be more forceful, I finally said “Who do you think you are? You have no right to tell me whether I’m beautiful or not. I love me the way I am and so does my fiancée. Now I’m leaving your booth.” This interaction was bad enough, but hours and even days later I found myself starting to think “Well maybe I am a little chunky through the middle, my thighs rub together too much” Luckily, I caught myself thinking this way and stopped myself by saying your thighs are strong from walking, hiking, and landscaping. I may be a little chunky through my midsection but I always have been. But it really bothered me that her words were still affecting me.
The reason I’m sharing this story is this was the first time in a long time that I had been directly confronted with someone judging me because of their perceived flaws with my appearance. We are all bombarded with images from all versions of media of how we are supposed to look, dress, act, dance, etc. In a industry that is supposed to make every bride feel like a beautiful princess and every groom feel like a handsome prince, perhaps they need to check their sales approach. I have had the privilege to work with some very respectful, professional and positive vendors for our wedding which has renewed my faith in the wedding industry as a whole. (BTW I didn’t find any of my vendors through that wedding show)
My hope in sharing this experience is that someone else will be reminded to not let someone else determine your self worth, your image of yourself, or what is important to you. You only take care of things and people you care about, when you love yourself it shows everyone around you how you expect to be treated. If you're lucky enough to find someone that loves you for who you are and what you stand for (even if they don't always understand it or agree with it ) and you feel the same way about them, make your wedding about the two of you.